Thursday, September 27, 2012

DAY 4 - Thursday, 9/27 (MORNING)

DAY 4 –Thursday, 9/27
UPDATE – The Unfriend Jake Culbertson Experience
Today is THE day we break the news to Jake that he has spent the last few days posting and pontificating about so many things, and there has been no one around to listen. If Jake Culbertson has an opinion, and no one is around to hear it, does he actually even have one?
And then there were 25….
Jake has spent the last two full days posting about things such as gay marriage, how God is actually a myth courtesy of a quote by Josh Groban, traffic patterns in the greater Denver area, how big banks are bad, how he shares political views with Gary Johnson, how the iPhone 5 sucks, and how Samsung does not. He has also kept us updated on the Chargers contract extension handed out to Malcolm Floyd, the Redskins signings, as well as the NFL referee settlement. I’m sure his friend list of 25 people, all of whom are no longer on Facebook or do not use it regularly appreciate these updates. How’s your News Feed, Jake? Kind of quiet?
It’s time to let Jake off the hook. He’s paid the price. Little did he think when he sent me a monthly subscription to Texas Monthly, Dance Spirit, and Arthritis Today that it would lead to this – a retailiation prank by myself and 74 of his closest friends.
I love you, Jake. You are my buddy. Let the record reflect, I never unfriended you. I effectively pranked you without ever even taking part in the prank myself.
The only thing left to do now is break the news, I can't handle seeing you be so ignored for much longer. No likes. I can't handle seeing you like this.

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