Thursday, September 27, 2012

DAY 4 - Thursday, 9/27 (THE MOMENT OF TRUTH)

DAY 4 –Thursday, 9/27 (THE MOMENT OF TRUTH)
UPDATE – The Unfriend Jake Culbertson Experience
Jake was told just moments ago via a post on his wall from me. His wife, Kat, was next to him with her iPhone in hand and set to record. Despite our preparation, Jake gave us nothing but a stoic look and an immediate response to my post below…

So while there was no big payoff as far as a video reaction goes, the fun has only just begun! Now begins the REfriend Jake Culbertson Experience where you get the opportunity to become friends with Jake all over again.  Will he make it all the way back up to 99….or will several of you take this opportunity to run for the hills and avoid ever reading a Jake Culbertson post again!??
Thanks to everyone who participated!!! Feel free to Refriend Jake now!

DAY 4 - Thursday, 9/27 (MORNING)

DAY 4 –Thursday, 9/27
UPDATE – The Unfriend Jake Culbertson Experience
Today is THE day we break the news to Jake that he has spent the last few days posting and pontificating about so many things, and there has been no one around to listen. If Jake Culbertson has an opinion, and no one is around to hear it, does he actually even have one?
And then there were 25….
Jake has spent the last two full days posting about things such as gay marriage, how God is actually a myth courtesy of a quote by Josh Groban, traffic patterns in the greater Denver area, how big banks are bad, how he shares political views with Gary Johnson, how the iPhone 5 sucks, and how Samsung does not. He has also kept us updated on the Chargers contract extension handed out to Malcolm Floyd, the Redskins signings, as well as the NFL referee settlement. I’m sure his friend list of 25 people, all of whom are no longer on Facebook or do not use it regularly appreciate these updates. How’s your News Feed, Jake? Kind of quiet?
It’s time to let Jake off the hook. He’s paid the price. Little did he think when he sent me a monthly subscription to Texas Monthly, Dance Spirit, and Arthritis Today that it would lead to this – a retailiation prank by myself and 74 of his closest friends.
I love you, Jake. You are my buddy. Let the record reflect, I never unfriended you. I effectively pranked you without ever even taking part in the prank myself.
The only thing left to do now is break the news, I can't handle seeing you be so ignored for much longer. No likes. I can't handle seeing you like this.

DAY 3 - Wednesday, 9/26

DAY 3 – Wednesday, 9/26
UPDATE – The Unfriend Jake Culbertson Experience
Day 3 and we are down to 27 on Jake’s friends list. Jake spent most of the day posting his random political ramblings. He did whole-heartedly endorse gay marriage as well as post a GOP bashing article and a video on Voter registration. He also happily announced being selected by the Denver Post to be on air to relay his opinions on the upcoming presidential debate…which to me sounds like I need to be getting my popcorn ready as the network surely has no idea what they are getting themselves into.
As a side, Jake had a status update last night that read:

The Unfriend Jake Culbertson Experience has been extended an additional day due to the following reasons: (1) Jake is still completely clueless and happily posting away, (2) He has class tonight, so telling him tonight won’t be as fun, (3) Would still love to see his friend count dwindle more!
I will likely break the news tomorrow night around 7:30PM.  At that time, you will likely all get to take part in the REfriend Jake Culbertson Experience. I will break the news to him on his FB wall. It appears videotaping his reaction is not going to be possible at this time, but if we can make it happen we will do so. Also, if he figures it out beforehand, I will break the news immediately on his wall. Once you all refriend him, you will get to see his response on there.

DAY 2 - Tuesday, 9/25

DAY 2 – Tuesday, 9/25
UPDATE – The Unfriend Jake Culbertson Experience
Jake is now down to only 45 from 99 friends in the past 24 hours. Most of those that have yet to unfriend him I can only assume do not use Facebook often or are not amused by this prank. If you fall into that category, I apologize for filling your Inbox. If you have yet to unfriend, please do so soon as time is running out. Jake has not yet realized his dwindling friend count despite his dried up news feed or how much time he spends chatting on Facebook. That could happen at any minute seeing as how his own Mother, his wife, his siblings, and his close friends are no longer friends with him.
Those that have unfriended him already are experiencing Facebook like never before. Their news feed devoid of Jake’s many ramblings, articles, and opinions.  Most have reported feeling smarter already.
I have yet to decide how to break it to him if he doesn’t figure it out himself, but it will most likely involve a Wall Post on his page. This will likely happen tomorrow before Noon. If he does contact you asking why you are no longer friends just tell him your friend count is all messed up too, and you have no idea what is going on.  That is sure to rile Jake up and will most certainly result in many crazy status updates and emails off to Facebook Corporate about how they don’t know what they are doing as Jake has been known to send these types of messages to many, many organizations such as Directv, Colorado Highway State Patrol, San Diego Chargers football, Denver Public School System, and so on and so forth. Really…the list goes on forever.

DAY 1 - Monday, 9/24

DAY 1 – Monday, 9/24
The UNFRIEND Jake Culbertson Experience  – 9/24, 9/25, 9/26!!
My name is Jason Bauer, and I am Jake’s brother-in-law. Some of you know me well as I am friends with 24 of Jake’s 99 friends on Facebook already, but the rest of you only know Jake. I am sending you this PRIVATE message because you are a friend of Jake on Facebook, and therefore you are critical to the PRANK I am trying to pull on him in the next few days.  
As you all know well, Jake has some strong opinions…we see it daily on his Facebook page in our news feed. He loves to debate and argue with anyone on anything. He and I often go at it for fun and we both enjoy every minute of it. Jake often says that he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of his postings/opinions on Facebook by saying “if they don’t like it, they can just unfriend me.”
Well…whatever you say Jake!!! For the next 2 to 3 days, I’d like to pull a massive group prank on Jake. Please immediately go in and unfriend Jake when you receive this message. To do so, simply go to Jake’s page and click on the FRIENDS box with the check mark in it. Under this box will be an option called ‘Unfriend’. Click on it and then confirm your decision to ‘Unfriend’. This same process can be done on your mobile phone. And don’t worry, we love Jake, so we will all re-friend him when this over.  This is strictly for fun and a little payback from a recent much smaller, less intricate prank that Jake pulled on me.
My revenge prank involves all of you, and allows us all to have a little fun with him.  If Jake messages you to ask why you have unfriended him, just ignore him. Let him freak out a little bit and try to determine what it is he said that led to the mass exodus of his friends. I am sending this to all of you individually as I am unable to make this an event. Again, this is all in fun, and if you know Jake like I know him, you know he will appreciate the effort and the unity that this prank requires in order to pull off.
If you are unsure whether you would want to participate, just picture good ole Jake sitting at his keyboard with a handful of friends at his disposal to ramble on to about politics, how bad he dislikes the Broncos, or how Droid is so much better than the iPhone. Picture the poor guy when his Mom and wife unfriend him. What will Jake do when he has no one to read his rambilings????
OK, the prank starts NOW and last 3 days. “The Unfriend Jake Culbertson Experience” has begun. Let’s plummet Jake’s friend total over the next few days – Monday, 9/24, Tuesday, 9/25, and Wednesday, 9/26. And it probably goes without saying, but PLEASE don’t let this secret slip to Jake.